Twitter Hash-Jack Wars

The Oddest Show on Earth?

US politics are a funny kind of circus.  The  hash-jack battles and skirmishes currently being waged on the battlefield of twitter would probably seem a bit pointless and nutty to a sane species.  Firstly does anyone vote on the basis of their twitter-feed content?  And in terms of pointlessness, it's a battle that one side seems pre-determined to never win and to at best gain a small victory when the other side own-goals.

A good tweet might be insightful, must be pithy, and will travel further if funny.  One side is significantly better at the last item on the list, unless you count unintended own-goal humour.  I did for instance get a good laugh when one of the twitter hash-warriors tweeted that the other lot were unable to distinguish satire from news, using the example of Colbert.

Someone Actually Researched That?

The hash-warrior probably figured this was safe ground.  Who would guess that anyone had actually researched whether or not political inclination would result in being challenged in distinguishing satire from serious discourse?  And who would have guessed if someone did such obscure research, they would have happened to use Colbert as the satirical subject matter? I wouldn't have guessed that, but I didn't need to guess because as it happens I'd recently encountered this.

On Owning OWS' Goals

Just about the only way the disadvantaged lot can win is to ignore the primary battle and go after the most doofus-esque sub groups that might be easily associated with the "other lot" to provoke an own-goal.

Whether by luck or by skill a bunch of hashtag-warriors from the humour challenged lot were observed last doing having great success doing exactly that when they jacked the #occuchat tag, exposing the #occuchat-ers as a bunch of bleating whingers in the process.  The weak link #occuchat-ers were easily defeated into this own-goal by the use of nothing more sinister or galling than a few allusions to poor personal hygiene.

Hardly stellar wit.  Yet the #occuchat babies crumpled like a soggy, used, and allegedly slightly slimy snot-rag, lamenting the jacking of their tag. 

I've no idea what their issue was.

If they were fresh and clean then it should have gone down the drain into obscurity like water running over a showering occuchat-er's freshly soaped back, and if they were bothered by the "you're a poo-head" level of name calling because they had some reason to be sensitive about their personal hygiene, they should have resolved the issue by taking a shower instead of publicly bawling about "their" tag being jacked.

Get a sense of humour, take a shower, or GTFO occuchat-ers. 

You Know Who Stunk?  Nation-Builders!

If the occu-chater's were both bothered and allergic to water, they could have pointed out that the US was built on the stinky sweat of stinking pioneers who sometimes went months between baths, and maybe added that modern conservatives probably wouldn't last a day without their loofahs and foaming body washes, much less be of any use in constructing a nation. 

We might need pioneers again one day, so maybe we should celebrate any lack of shower occupation by the occuchat-ers.  At a minimum, reduced shower occupation conserves water and there is a serious drought going on right now.  Will no one think of the farmers? 

Unjackable?

Perhaps as a result of this rare experience of an own-goal defeat, but more likely just because arms races, even trivial hashtag jacking arms races, the "Obama lot" have launched their newest defensive weapon to save their hashtags from the "other lots" rampant jacking.

As the victims in all this (well so they claim, but everyone's a victim these days) they have been forced (forced I tells ya') to defensively deploy their latest high tech "defensive" weapon in the form of an unjackable (and intentionally offensive) hashtag.

As if you could not guess, the unjackable hashtag,  "#MittHatesThisHashtag", was of course promptly hashtag jacked.

So I am now waiting in a state of mild, idle interest for the "other lots" unjackable "defensive" (and yet intentionally offensive) tag to trend and be jacked, an easy to predict development, as is the likelihood that the attached content for the most part just won't be as witty or funny as the stuff generated by "Obama's lot".

Turns out not everyone's a comedian after all.